on the blog again...

Sorry, I know this was supposed to be an at least almost every day thing...and now more than a week has passed! A week of good and bad, and trying to continue to cut my portions smaller and smaller, so that i can lose more than 2 lbs!

I have had a couple of days where I have just basically said, I don't care. I want to eat, and I don't care if I am hungry or not. So I ate. I am trying to stop that, obviously that is not good. But really, sometimes I am so frustrated at myself and at having this battle at all. I am also frustrated by how fast the weight came off so long ago, and now doesn't want to budge. I get frustrated at how gung ho i was years ago,and now that i need to lose weight for more than just vanity, but to be healthier, I seem to be less motivated! What kind of whacked thinking is that?

No real insight on these questions, except I am still running to food too often. Although i have had some sucesses with praying and just saying, "Lord, i am not hungry, but i am gonna get up and get that bag of chips if I keep thinking about it. Please get my mind off the chips, and on you instead. Help me to not go get that bag. Take the desire away for what i don't really need, and fill it with you instead." You know that really works, I just don't use it enough.

I have done better the last 2 days or so, gone to bed without eating after supper, and not overeating during the day. Little sucesses...

Hope everyone is doing well! OH, my bible reading is going great! i am on schedule, and really love reading, some nights i read ahead to see what happens, when I have read these stories so many times before. The hunger for it is different, and I am loving that so much! Tell me, how is your reading going?