Halloween...2

So, it's our 2nd Halloween at 558 Peacock. Couldn't let the night go by without keeping count of our trick-or-treaters! I am as excited as I was last year...so here goes!

6:23--the count is 5 so far.

6:40--we are up to 35

6:48--42!

6:50--56!

6:57--we are up to 81!

7:10--oh my! 135. What if we run out of candy?

7:11--147. We are gonna run out of candy.

7:36--189.I am holding Naomi, and she is not real happy about that.

7:20--154. Some one is handing out bags of chips. I wanna go to that house!

7:44--213.

7:47--224

7:57---239. Way more than last year when we only had 168! 

i went back and read last years blog, i gave much more detail about costumes, and other trivia. Too busy this year, sorry!

8:05--262--lots of kids just came to see Barrett

8:16--281 and counting!

8:29--289. it is slowing down, we may be done for the night. 

9:06--299 and we seem to be done...just one more....

9:16--303!!!!!

my kids

here are photos of my kids. Can you believe it? 

Facebook

So I have a facebook. I have been looking at photos on everyone elses and i don't have any on mine. I even own a camera, but never take pictures! I think I might start, but sometimes it seems pointless when Mark takes so many, not to mention our families pro photog chad, and lisa, and tiffany, and crystal, and rachel, and...anyway, i should really either get on this bandwagon, or get off. That camera is not doing me any good in my purse, now, is it?

I hate winter. I am not even really fond of fall. I hate that it is dark so early in the evening and when we get up. I hate that it will soon be cold. I am however thankful that we have had such great football weather. But really, honestly, i could live somewhere sunny and warm all year long, and not miss the seasons changing. I would love it. Now in complete contrast to what I have just said, I am also kinda in the mood for a thunderstorm. Nothing severe, just some thunder and lightening and rain. A nice calm storm. Just enough to get me past this "I need a thunderstorm" feeling. Does anyone else ever get that feeling? It's right up there with "I need to strangle a cat right this minute" which I have never done, nor will I. Just sometimes I feel like I might need to.

Well, dishes are waiting in the sink. It is only 7:52 pm, but I feel like it must be at least 11. It's that early darkness thing.

oh, by the way, I am at 139. slowly but surely, feasting on Him.

I don't want to talk about it...

but i said I would, so here goes:  I am still eating too much. Obviously, since I have not lost even one pound in over 3 weeks. That is ridiculous, and I am embarrassed to even be admitting it. It feels worse than admitting my weight. I know this is really a trust issue, can God really satisfy me like I fool myself into thinking food does? Are a few more bites really gonna hurt? Do I really want to give up this part of me that I am so strongly holding on to? I want to say yes, yes, of course yes. But my refusal to give up even a little bit more food would tell a different story I think.

I have done fairly well with less snacking. But I still eat too much at night. I don't snack constantly at night like I used to but still eat too much dinner. I am a night eater, and it is so hard for me to give up what I have done for so long. It is like being addicted to a drug. I know it is bad, I know it is not helping me at all, in fact it is hurting me, both physically and emotionally, but still I pursue it like I can't live without it. I am comfortable with feeling just a little too full. It is the feeling I have lived with for so many years. Painful, sure sometimes, but it is not as "scary" as leaving the food behind and actually doing this. I feel stupid even blogging about food this way. I want it to just be will power. But it isn't. It is being willing to give up what I have given into for years. Being willing to submit, trust and move forward, not just leaving food on my plate.

I know if you are a naturally thin eater, you do not understand this at all. Food is not a problem for you. Be glad, but perhaps you have other vices. Smoking, drinking, shopping, it is the feeling that you can't let go of whatever it is, you need it. Well, i need food, but not too much food. I am a person who wants to know "how much an I eat today and still lose" not "how little food do I actually need to eat today?" I tend to mourn the food I don't get to eat...instead of celebrating. Sad huh?

Well, I am sure I have said enough for today. I will try to blog more about this journey. I am certainly wandering in the desert right now...knowing the promised land is in sight, but scared to trust the One who has promised it to me.